A Rock and A Fist
by NolaOakenshield30
Summary: Unfortunately, after an act of vandalism, Bilbo and Bofur decide to invite over the hobbits begruding relatives over for a chat in an attempt smoothe over a nasty situation.
1. Chapter 1

The little hobbit child smiled brightly as she eagerly took the doll into her pudgy hands and inspected it with a giggle.

"It's perfect!" She declared, "Thank you so much Mister Bofur!"

The dwarf smiled and nodded while the child's parents thanked him profusely before departing.

Giving a satisfactory sight, Bofur stretched and set himself to straightening up the display shelves that had been ransacked by several children that had bounded in and out throughout the day with or without their flustered parents.

In the few months he'd come to live here, his popularity had seemed to grow overnight when word reached the curious ears of shire hobbits that a new shop would be opening and it's owner would be none other than a dwarf.

Bofur smirked when he wondered if the children, that so often visited his shop, came to view his creations or him ever since Bilbo Baggins had revealed that He had been one of the dwarves that accompanied him on his sudden adventure.

It really didn't bother him at all, being mainly that his business had doubled in the few months he'd opened the doors to his shop. But then again, and Bofur frowned, so did the gossip.

Bilbo had explained, and he knew, that it was to be expected. Two men not related and of differing race, were to be scrutinized to no end not matter where they were.

While he knew and accepted that unbreakable fact, it still pained him when he would spy children looking into the shop through its huge display windows, only to be sternly jerked away by an adult.

Bilbo had tried to soothe him the first time it happened, pointing out that while it was something to feel sad about, Bofur was still bringing in business and that, from what he knew, most of the whispers about him were positive given his sunny disposition and eagerness to work out a deal.

"Is there much on your mind today?" asked a voice from the open shop door, and Bofur smiled as he finished straightening a shelf.

"There was," He responded softly as he turned to face the one who'd asked the question, "But there's only one hobbit on me mind now."

Bilbo Baggins smiled softly and hurried over to the dwarf whom had extended his hand; briefly they embraced, careful not to kiss, and broke apart to examine each other thoroughly.

"I though' ye had a lot to do today," Bofur said as he made his way to his work area in the back, "What with that book ye've been writing and all."

Bilbo followed from behind and leaned against a far wall as he watched his partner set himself to painting a small toy wagon.

Bilbo sighed and stretched; "Oh, I hit a bump, and since I had to go into the market I thought it would be nice to check in on you."

Bofur, dipping a brush into a pain can, chuckled. "Ate all those honey cakes again, eh?"

Bilbo snorted; "You had four last night! Don't judge me!"

A peaceful silence passed between the two and Bilbo resigned himself silently, and proudly, to watch as Bofur began painting the wagon a lovely shade of blue.

He had yet to tell him but, as it had been told to him, many regarded Bofur's craftsmanship to be superior to that of the old toy makers.

Approaching slowly, Bilbo slipped his arms around Bofur's shoulders and squeezed him tightly; making the dwarf hummed in both pleasure and amusement.

"What's tha' for?" Bofur asked as Bilbo gently kissed his cheek, "Ye've never been affectionate toward me…in public."

Before Bilbo could answer, there was a great crash from up front and Bofur leapt to his feet so quickly, Bilbo stumbled backward and thumped against the wall.

"Stay here!" Bofur demanded as he hurried from his work area; however Bilbo ignored his order and followed swiftly after him.

"Oh bloody…great! Just feckin' great!" Bofur spat, hand on his hips, as he observed the damage.

One of the display windows had been shattered, and the object of its demise lay within inches of Bofur's boot until the angry dwarf swept up into his large hand.

"Maybe it was an accident," Bilbo began as he came to stand beside Bofur, "Children tossing rocks and~"

"Twas no accident," Bofur interrupted and he handed it to Bilbo, "It was an attack."

"What do you mean?" Bilbo asked as Bofur set about cleaning up the many shards that lay strewn about store.

But he found his answer when he observed the large, smooth stone; the slur standing out brazenly before him in bright red paint.

"Oh…" Bilbo breathed, and instantly felt a surge of anger course through him. He didn't know what angered him more.

As he watched Bofur begin to sweep up shards of glass, he was infuriated that someone would commit such an act against the kind dwarf and also, as he looked at the stone in his hands again, he wondered just what he was going to do about the person, he knew without a doubt, had thrown the stone in the first place.


	2. Chapter 2: The Sackville-Bagginses

"Ye know he or they won't own up to it!" Bofur protested as he pulled a comb through his hair, "I don't see the point in all o' this!"

Bilbo, buttoning his waist coat, sighed before looking desperately at his partner.

"I know they won't, initially, own up to it," He explained, "But there is more to this than just some silly little boy who decided to cast a stone and break a window! Trust me, I know them."

As he started on his first braid, Bofur sat upon the bed, deep in thought. "Ye realize that…we might be feedin' the gossip if we do go through with this? That instead of one child…we might next 'ave to deal with adults?"

Bilbo hurried over and took over the braiding of the dwarf's hair; saying nothing at first as he completed the first plait.

"Irregardless, you didn't deserve to have your store vandalized. It can't be tolerated" Bilbo pointed out as he began the second plait.

"Agreed," Bofur said quickly, "But still…we might be bringing trouble our way if…I mean, from what ye told me about them they love any and every opportunity they get to make ye miserable!"

"And this will no doubt be one of those times," Bilbo revealed, "But what happened shouldn't happen again. I know the boy did it, I saw him earlier that day lingering around and I've no doubt his parents begrudging attitudes played a part in just _why_ he did it. Now let me finish your hair, will you?"

Bofur sighed and turned so that Bilbo could start on the final braid. "I'm worried," He confessed as Bilbo easily completed the final braid, "What if it gets worse? I mean…it was only a window this time but Bilbo, I hate wonderin', if someone might do ye harm!"

Bilbo's hands came from behind and held Bofur tightly for a moment; his head resting on the troubled dwarf's back, he replied: "I worry the same about you. That's why we've got to try and work…whatever it is we can work out with them. You deserve to be able to maintain your business without fear of further disturbance."

Before Bofur could make reply the door bell jingled and the two broke apart slowly; before going to answer the persistent ringing, Bilbo turned and quickly kissed Bofur's cheek and whispered: "Try not to loose your temper."

Bofur chuckled and followed after Bilbo; "Shall I hide the spoons?" He asked with a teasing smile.

Before he opened the door, Bilbo looked over at Bofur whom leaned casually against a door way and urged him to open the door.

Mustering his best false smile, Bilbo pulled the door open.

Instantly, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, offered him only a soured look.

"Bilbo," she offered, "I hope we didn't stop you from answering the door any later than you did."

Swallowing his annoyance quickly, Bilbo smiled still as He shook his head. "Of course not!" He chuckled, "We've been more than ready to receive you."

"Oh, so we've not interrupted anything?" Otho Sackville-Baggins, standing behind Lobelia, inquired. "That's a relief!" and he winced when his wife jabbed him roughly with her boney elbow.

As husband and wife entered, so did a small male hobbit that glared at Bilbo suspiciously as he passed his host without a word and stood, waiting beside his parents.

Bilbo cleared his throat and urged Bofur to come closer; "I don't believe I've ever introduced you," He explained, "This is Bofur, a very good friend of mine and the owner of the shop that…uh, I'm sorry to say, your son decided to target with a stone a few days ago."

"That you _say_ he targeted," Lobelia corrected, waving her umbrella about as if to make a point, "Well, shall we go to the den?"

Bilbo, getting a reassuring nod from Bofur, nodded his own head and urged his guests onward.

"I hid the spoons!" Bofur whispered into Bilbo's ear, and he chuckled when the hobbit hushed him.

"What was that?" Lobelia asked over her shoulder as they entered the warm and welcoming den.

"Oh n-nothing Lobelia, Bofur was just suggesting we put the kettle on," Bilbo lied, and cast the amused dwarf a weary look.

"So," Lobelia began as she observed, much to Bilbo's frustrations, all the décor that hung around them with hungry eyes, "Has your…guest, help you procure any of these new items?"

"No," Bilbo explained softly, "I bought what I felt I needed with the treasure I earned in Erebor."

Lobelia scoffed and Otho snorted.

"Mum and Dad said you're a fool for running off the way you did!" Lotho explained as he picked at his face, "I can't even see why you'd go running off with a bunch of stinky, rude dwarves any ways!"

Bofur's face went slack and his eyes darkened for a moment before, to both Bilbo's and his amazement, Otho smacked the back of his son's head so harshly, they both grimaced.

"Lotho! _Don't-be-rude_!" His father scolded; ignoring the tears that sprang to his sons eyes.

Bofur felt his heart quicken, filling with both pity for the child, and anger for the father who stood smirking as his own child fought back the painful tears.

"Yes," He said softly, speaking to the guests for the first time, "Let's not be rude." Otho looked rather puzzled when Bofur cast him an accusatory look.

"Please," Bilbo offered, squeezing Bofur's tensed arm with his hand, "Let not start off this way. Let's take our seats and I'll go and fetch us some tea and biscuits."

As Bilbo hurried away, Bofur and their guests took their seats; Bofur all the while feeling the heavy stare of Lotho whom regarded with a sneer as he picked at his face.

"You've got big ears!" Lotho said curiously, "Bigger than my dads even!"

"Lotho," Otho scolded, "He can't help it. He's a dwarf."

Bofur chuckled, struggling to maintain his composure, and said: "We all 'ave big ears. Just like ye hobbits have pointed ones. They come in handy, as I'm sure ye know."

"You're dressed funny too!" Lotho persisted, and Lobelia hid her laughter behind her hand while Otho smirked.

"Fashion differs from person to person, lad, as I'm sure ye can see," Bofur explained, hoping desperately Bilbo would soon join them.

"What's with the stupid hat?" Lotho asked, but before Bofur could answer, Bilbo entered with a loaded down tray.

"Everything alright?" Bilbo asked, wringing his hands after setting the tray down, "have I missed anything?"

"Ach! No! Lotho and I were just havin' a nice chat," Bofur explained, and he cast the boy the nicest smile he could gather at the moment. "He's rather curious about me."

Lotho, picking his nose once more, observed Bofur with deep interest and asked: "Why do you talk so funny? We don't talk funny!"


	3. Chapter 3: Cookies & Contempt

What civil conversation there was to be made was very little as soon their guests began to tire and wished to go.

"It's boring here!" Little Lotho griped as he kicked his large feet dramatically, "Let's go home mum!"

Bilbo looked over at Bofur who shrugged from his chair and inclined his head before mouthing: 'Let them.'

"Eh, I know you all are ready to leave but we've got to discuss a certain matter," Bilbo explained, pained at seeing Bofur's disappointed gaze.

"I don't see what there is to discuss in the first place," Lobelia offered coldly, "So you're…roommate's shop was vandalized. It has nothing to do with us."

"Agreed," Said Otho with a grunt, "Imagine my surprise when you showed up Bilbo! With your wild accusations!"

"It was no accusation," Bofur pointed out smoothly and with his eyes staring hard at the elder hobbit, "Very often yer boy makes it a habit to pass by me shop and offer up whatever ugly face or obscene gesture he can think of if he sees me!"

"Well, I don't see why our boy would do such things!" Lobelia protested before her husband could speak, "That is, if you've never provoked him in the first place. Have you?"

"Is a smile and a wave to the boy considered rude amongst ye folks?" Bofur asked dryly, "Oh and I don't He has any animosity toward me. I think ye teach him to feel, such toward me, because I'm so closely affiliated with Master Baggins."

Lobelia huffed and slammed the point of her umbrella so hard into the floor, Bilbo new there would be a small dent in his fine wooden floor forever.

"Please!" Bilbo pleaded softly yet sternly, "Let's not let this matter get out of control. Lobelia, and Otho, it's not so much that your boy…threw the rock and shattered the shop window…what bother's me is what he wrote on the stone before hand."

"I didn't write anything on any stone!" Lotho declared, crossing his arms and pouting, "I wasn't any where near that stupid toy store any ways!"

Otho hummed and inclined his hand at his son; "There you have it! You've got the wrong hobbit."

Bilbo sighed and looked at Bofur who looked back at him, just as flustered.

"I hate to do this," Bilbo offered softly, "But, Lotho, I saw you near the shop that day; as did Master Bofur."

"Well, give us proof of that!" Lobelia demanded, stamping the tip of her umbrella into the floor again, "If you can't, I wouldn't be surprised that it's just another of your lies!"

Bofur groaned and rubbed his eyes; "What reason does Bilbo have to lie?" He asked, "It's not like he's demanding ye pay fer the damage~"

"Even if he did we would not pay anything!" Otho bellowed, and he rose to his feet when Bofur did.

"Exactly! Our son is a good boy!" Lobelia declared rising to her own feet and joining her husband, "And after being silly enough to go on an adventure with his type…I'm sure you've got plenty of money to pay for the replacement."

"Yeah!" Lotho chided and rose to his own little feet.

"Oh fer the love of…Bilbo just show 'em the damn rock!" Bofur spat, and stormed from the den against Bilbo's protests.

"Y-you k-kept the rock?" Lotho asked suddenly, "Why would you do that?"

Bilbo, feeling deep pity for Lotho again, sighed as he went to a nearby hutch and opened the top drawer.

"Because Lotho," Bilbo explained as he pulled the wrapped evidence out, "This issue must be dealt with."

"The only issue I see is you trying to cause us more trouble than we need!" Lobelia spat, waving the point of her umbrella about wildly.

"Actually," Bilbo confessed, "I'm sparing the lot of you. Because if I were to show this to the sheriff-he unwrapped the rock and held it out for all to see-then you and Otho would be paying a hefty fine."

Otho snorted after he'd leaned in close to observe what Bilbo held, and plopped back down in his chair.

"So?" He asked, throwing his hands up in the air, "How do you know for a fact my boy did that?"

Lobelia, smirking, turned her back and strolled over to stand beside her seated husband; "Any body, and I mean any body, could have written that! There's been much…talk about that fellow, eh, Bobbit…and you."

Little Lotho, looking rather pale, began to gnaw the finger nails of one hand, while his other hand picked at his face feverishly; Bilbo observed him for a moment before requesting: "Would you mind, sending your boy into the kitchen? I'd rather discuss this adult matter away from a child."

"Um…M-mister Bofur?" Lotho asked when he found the dwarf putting away dishes, "Mister Bilbo sent me to help you."

"Tell ye what," Bofur replied without turning around, "Why don't ye help me with putting away this lot o' dishes, and then I'll fetch somethin' sweet fer ye. Do ye agree, lad?"

Lotho hesitated, looked over his shoulder, and with the promise of a treat well within his grasp, he nodded eagerly.

"A'right," Bofur said with a smile, "C'mon then, and hand me the plates o'er there. You hand them over and I'll put them where they need to go."

For a few moments, Bofur talked while Lotho listened; any attempt to get the child to join him in casual conversation was proving fruitless until, when he placed a cup in its rightful place, Bofur said gently:

"I'm sorry yer Da' popped ye like that. Ye didn't deserve it."

The apology came so suddenly, that little Lotho almost dropped a plate; Bofur caught it easily and, after rolling it down his upraised arm and then popping it off his shoulder, he caught it with his other hand, and set it delicately in the cabinet.

"Wow!" Lotho gasped, "That was neat! Are you a juggler or something?"

Bofur chuckled and shook his head; "It's only somethin' we dwarves do," He explained cheerfully, "Instinct. Do ye like jugglers?"

Lotho hesitated and looked down the candle lit corridor leading to the den; "Eh…Mum and Dad…they don't want me to talk to you."

"Oh," Bofur sighed, "I see. Well, what do you want to do? Do ye want to talk to me?"

Lotho nodded very slowly and met Bofur's soft eyes. The young hobbit couldn't help but grin as Bofur did the same. But as quickly as it came, the grin vanished suddenly, and Lotho's eyes welled with guilty tears.

"I'm sorry about the window," Lotho said as he choked back sobs, "I…I just…Mum and Dad are always saying~"

Bofur leaned down and wiped the tears off of the boy's cheeks.

"Why'd ye not own up to then? The moment it happened, I mean? And what on earth possessed to write on it what ye did?"

Lotho sniffled and wiped his nose on his sleeve; "Mum and Dad…they say things about you and Mister Bilbo," He explained in a whimper, "They say that you two are…odd. Daddy uses that word all the time too!"

Bofur chuckled and made his way over to the kitchen fire place. "Many say yer family is odd as well," He countered, "The difference between you and I is that I'd never have chucked rocks at yer windows. And, honestly, I don't think yer proud that ye even did it. Am I right?"

Lotho nodded: "I was just…" He started to explain, but trailed off not knowing what to say.

"Ah, I see," Bofur mused, "Ye were tryin' to honor yer family then? Make them proud?"

Lotho nodded again; "They told me that you stole jobs away from hobbits when you opened your toy store and that Bilbo is gonna make you the heir of Bag End."

Bofur chuckled at Lotho's innocence and misperception; "Actually," He corrected, "I give Hobbits jobs. Recently I've had to employ hobbits to make deliveries to neighboring villages or I have them pick up supplies I need. And I'm only…a long-term house guest, not an heir."

Lotho sniffled and watched as Bofur pulled down a jar, opened it, and held out his large hand; waiting for the boy to come and take the cookie from him.

"Thank you," Lotho said as he took it tentatively, "I really am sorry about the window."

Bofur smiled; "I know ye are lad," He replied, "Hopefully now, you'll come in and say hello next time."


	4. Chapter 4: After Thoughts

Escorting Lotho back to the den, Bofur and the young hobbit walked into a tense conversation.

"You-did-so!" Lobelia was insisting, glaring angrily at Bilbo and her umbrella pointing menacingly at his chest.

"Really, Lobelia, I did not in any way mean to imply~"

"You so did!" Lobelia interrupted, "You accused my son of being slow!"

Bilbo sighed and rolled his eyes; "All I meant to say," He breathed through clenched teeth, "is that I know it was your son who did the crime because of this!"

With the stone in his hand, Bilbo pointed once then twice, at two faded letters.

"When you came to me a while back and asked me to teach Lotho cursive, He had trouble telling the difference between a cursive 'g' and a cursive 'q.' Besides that, even if he used the correct letters, this word requires TWO 'g's, not one Lobelia, but TWO!"

"Don't you snap at my wife!" Otho barked, once again rising to his feet, and Bilbo groaned.

"Here now!" Bofur interjected, "Let's all sit an' calm ourselves! I was just talking to Lotho and~"

"I was not snapping, sir," Bilbo seethed, "I was merely pointing out the fact that Lotho obviously still needs to work on his penmanship…and his spelling as well."

"See?" Lobelia hissed, "You are calling my son slow! How dare you! Who do you think you are?"

"What did you expect, dear?" Otho asked in a snotty tone, "He's a lot like his mother after all."

Bilbo's eyes narrowed; "Leave my late mother out of this," He warned, "Let's stick to what we all came here to discuss."

"Look," Bofur tried to say again, "Let's all calm down. I've talked to Lotho and~"

"And who said you could do that?" Lobelia demanded, pointing her umbrella at the dwarf, "I didn't send him off to the kitchen to socialize with…you."

Bofur, feeling wounded, bit his bottom lip and looked at the Lotho who had gone quite pale again.

"We don't need to be…arguing like this in front of the lad," He explained, "Besides…Lotho admitted he's the one who done it."

Lobelia squeaked while Otho groaned and rubbed his face.

Bilbo, on the other hand, looked quite pleased and began wrapping the rock in the cloth slowly as he let the announcement sink deep into his argumentative guests.

"Freely admitted," Lobelia wondered aloud, "Or was _forced_ to admit it?"

Bilbo, stopping short of placing the rock back in the drawer, glared impatiently at the female hobbit;

"Bofur would never force anyone to do anything," He uttered venomously, "especially where a confused and albeit warped young boy is concerned!"

"Excuse me?" Bellowed Otho so furiously that Lotho whimpered and hid behind Bofur who felt his own anger rise as Otho bounded over to Bilbo and came within inches of the younger hobbits face.

"Who are you calling warped?" Otho demanded, "After all…I'm sure you've heard what other hobbits of the shire have speculated about you since the wizard left and he-_Otho jutted a fat thumb at Bofur whose eyes had narrow as he slunk toward the two hobbits-_took his place."

Lobelia observed her husband proudly yet made no attempt to end the tension; choosing only to watch the two of them and quietly hoping her husband would do her very proud.

Bilbo breathed in deeply and eyed Otho with an expression Bofur had never seen before; "Otho," Bilbo warned, "Back away from me. Take your wife and your boy and leave this household."

"Ye heard 'im!" Bofur added, "Now it's time to go. Lotho did what was right and, freely, admitted fault. Tha's all we wanted. No harm done."

Otho snickered while Lobelia chuckled coldly.

"What?" Otho dared, glaring at the dwarf before turning his heated gaze back upon Bilbo, "Are you wishing for a private moment?"

"Otho," Bilbo hissed, "Watch your manners!"

"Awww," Otho cooed mockingly, "Do you want to be alone with your pretty dwarf? Is that it? Do you need some tenderness from that disgusting fa-OH!"

"Uh-oh," Bofur muttered, but he didn't hide his grin.

"Bofur, you know, it's not really…all that funny," Bilbo was saying as he pulled his night gown over his head, "The sheriff could show up any minute!"

Bofur, red cheeked and holding his aching side, couldn't help but let out a loud guffaw.

"It was classic!" He groaned with wide grin, "I-I-I n-never would have thought ye had it in ye!"

Sighing before crawling into their bed, Bilbo observed the dwarf as he fluffed his pillow; "Well, would you rather I'd let him call you that?"

Bofur sniffed and wiped his eyes before shaking his head; "It made me feel better about everything," He explained, "I'm glad to know that in the end, yer still able to be the warrior I've seen ye be time or two in the past. I got me a body guard!"

As Bilbo lay upon his side to face his partner, he welcomed Bofur's strong arm that wrapped about his waist.

"Maybe," He replied softly, "But then again, like you feared, I might have made things worse."

Bofur pulled him close and kissed Bilbo upon his forehead before saying: "If it does get worse, it's not yer fault, but Otho's. That is, if he chooses to let others know yer the one that popped him like tha'"

Against his best control, Bofur couldn't help but snigger, receiving a gentle smack on his arm from Bilbo.

"It was like, when he fell, he started to do a summersault but then changed his mind and flopped onto his side!" Bofur chuckled, hugging Bilbo closer to him, "If it makes a difference, thanks for defending me."

Bilbo, not hiding his own smile, sighed and nuzzled into Bofur's bare chest; "I feel so bad for Lotho," He confessed as he fiddled with Bofur's chest hair, "He's more of a…I don't know…but they don't treat him like a son."

Bofur kissed Bilbo's forehead again before saying: "Aye, I noticed tha'. Hopefully, He'll realize that his parent's way isn't the best way to be. Before it's too late that is."

For a moment the two lay together as they often did; Bofur caressing Bilbo's curls while the hobbit relaxed against him and from time to time ran his fingers over the dwarf's bare, muscled upper body.

"You'd be a wonderful parent," Bilbo whispered, "It seemed only you and Lotho were the only ones to get along well tonight."

Bofur moaned and scratched Bilbo's hip; "I think ye'd do well yer self," the dwarf confessed softly, "Ye would raise a sheer genius!"

Bilbo chuckled and traced a finger over Bofur's well defined cheek bone; "Do you…do you sometime wish it? Having a child I mean."

Bofur hesitated and looked Bilbo over carefully before asking: "Why so many questions about rearing little ones?"

Bilbo moaned and caressed the muscled arm that held him firmly; "No reason" He replied before kissing Bofur.

"Good night."


End file.
